Fibromyalgia Monster

Trying to do my best as a mother and a wife

But this Fibromyalgia Monster has taken over my life

 

This thorn in my flesh Lord, How can I explain?

I get up every morning though my body is in pain

 

It’s like a Horrible Flu that just won’t go away

You pray for it to leave you but it’s with you everyday

 

The energy’s been sucked out, weakness never goes

Nerves feel inflamed from my head down to my toes

 

Arms burn like fire and what a sinus headache

I feel like I’m 100 but you say I look athletic

 

Now sensitive to medicines, chemicals and mold

Legs numb and tingling and Why do I feel cold?

 

Get worse from the heat till about September

My brain is in a Fog, and there’s words I can’t remember

 

Spasms in my back, my breathing isn’t right

My bed feels like nails as I lye awake at night

 

My muscles scream in agony. Oh my gosh don’t touch!

I take my herbs and medicines but they don’t help too much

 

My immune systems weakened, it seems on overdrive

My vision won’t stay focused and I often stay inside

 

Lights are too bright, noises are too loud

Unfortunately I’ll get sick again standing in this crowd

 

Some doctors say “It’s all in your head” or “Oh, You’re just depressed”

“Your fine, just take these crazy pills and get a little rest”

 

Yes I get down sometimes, upset and so would you

If a truck had just ran over you you’d feel the same way too

 

The attack of my brain is from infection I’ll bet

This is a neuro immune disease but some don’t know it yet

 

Trying to do my best as a mother and a wife

But this Fibromyalgia Monster has taken over my life.




Så vackert!

Se vilken vacker bild jag fick på mms av Lilly! Bilden föreställer hennes lillebror K och en utav katterna på gården. Så himla fint foto!



Så fin, så vacker!

Jag vill hålla av dig, utan att hålla fast dig. 
Jag vill ha dig, utan att äga dig.
Jag vill älska dig, utan att göra om dig.
Jag vill vara nära dig, utan att kväva dig.
Jag vill ge dig kärlek, utan att ställa krav eller villkor.
Jag vill ge upp mig, jämte dig.
Utan att gå före, utan att sacka efter.
Jag vill vara din människa på jorden.

 



Kraven är höga... these day's

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
and how lucky his is to have you....
The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.



Snälla flickor kommer till himlen..

Stygga flickor kommer hur långt som helst..


Det är ju så sant!



The Reason (to you from all your rescue dogs)


I would've died that day if not for you.
I would've given up on life if not for your kind eyes.
I would've used my teeth in fear if not for your gentle hands.
I would have left this life believing that all humans don't care
Believing there is no such thing as fur that isn't matted
skin that isn't flea bitten
good food and enough of it
beds to sleep on
someone to love me
to show me I deserve love just because I exist.
Your kind eyes, your loving smile, your gentle hands
Your big heart saved me...

You saved me from the terror of the pound,
Soothing away the memories of my old life.
You have taught me what it means to be loved.
I have seen you do the same for other dogs like me.
I have heard you ask yourself in times of despair
Why you do it
When there is no more money, no more room, no more homes
You open your heart a little bigger, stretch the money a little tighter
Make just a little more room...to save one more like me.
I tell you with the gratitude and love that shines in my eyes
In the best way I know how
Reminding you why you go on trying.

I am the reason
The dogs before me are the reason
As are the ones who come after.
Our lives would've been wasted, our love never given
We would die if not for you


Hundens tal till Matte <3



Blir man inte tårögd så vet jag inte vad..



Nemesis

En gammal goding;
Do you know what "nemesis" means?
A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.
Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... Me.


What you behold is no longer a word..

Evil came down on earth
And it beholds more than you love
Heaven don't fall on earth
What you behold is no longer a word
Evil came down on earth
And it beholds more than you love
Heaven don't fall on earth
What you behold is no longer a word


...(`v´)...



Få ord kan vara så sanna som dessa!




Fuck

Fuck this
Fuck you
Fuck everything
And all the shit you put me through
Fuck the world
Fuck the pain
Fuck everything you stand for
Because I don't give a fuck about the fame
Fuck your insecurities
Fuck your smug smile
Fuck your happiness that I promised
So just fuck off unless you have something worthwhile
Fuck the future
Fuck the past
Fuck all your fucking ignorance
Because this torture will always last
Fuck this needless pain
Fuck this knife that roams
Fuck everything that you're thinking
Because this is a cutting reference in my poem
Fuck what you're thinking
Fuck everything you've said
Fuck the world of knowledge you have of me
Because I know none of the thoughts in my head
Fuck my anger
Fuck my pain
And you know what just fuck me
Because I'm just small, stupid and insane
Fuck everything I just said
Fuck all the times I've come to your aid
Fuck all the tears I helped you fight
Because I'm just pathetic, alone and afraid
Fuck my life
Fuck staying sober
Fuck my pain
Because it's all fucking over
Fuck me
Fuck you
Fuck everyone else who thinks they're so great
Thinking we're all so much better than the next person too


Me love you!



Galenskap är visedom



Sanna mina ord..

 


Bild: MichelleL



Oh yeah!

.    .                           Riding through this world, all alone
God takes your soul; you’re on your own
The crow flies straight, a perfect line
On the devil’s back until you die

This life is short, baby that’s a fact
Better live it right, you ain’t coming back
Gotta raise some hell before they take you down
Gotta live this life

Gotta look this world in the eye
Gotta live this life ’till you die
You better have soul, nothing less
Cause when it’s business time, it’s life or death

The King is dead, the light goes on
Don’t lose your head when the deal goes down
Better keep your eyes on the road ahead
Gotta live this life

Gotta look this world in the eye
Gotta live this life until you die
.              .                 .                .               .


Min stora kärlek!



”Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.”

Bild: MichelleL



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They say memories are golden. Well, maybe that is true. I never wanted memories I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you, A million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you, You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place No one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway, And heartache make a lane. I'd walk the path to heaven, And bring you home again.

Our family chain is broken, And nothing seems the same. But as God calls us one by one, The chain will link again.